7 Signs You’re Emotionally Mature.

I narrowly avoided a serious confrontation due to my incessant desire to flaunt my opinions. This incident occurred after a biology class in my third year at the university. 

Overhearing a heated debate on religion among some guys at the back, I impulsively interjected without fully understanding the context. Regrettably, my input turned out to be offensive, prompting my friend to apologize on my behalf as we hastily exited the classroom with my teeth intact.

Reflecting on this incident, I now recognize the immaturity in my actions. While I held a high regard for the ideas in my mind, I failed to consider how others might perceive them. This realization underscores the importance of emotional maturity—a quality rooted in self-awareness. 

An emotionally mature individual doesn't cling excessively to their ego and is open to acknowledging their shortcomings. In the following discussion, we'll explore several indicators that reveal if you possess emotional maturity.

1. You understand that everyone doesn’t see life from your perspective.

An evident sign of emotional immaturity is observed in how someone navigates arguments. 

Do they engage in a discussion to comprehend, or are they driven solely by the desire to triumph, even when it's clear the other person isn't receptive? Emotionally immature individuals struggle with the notion that others may view life differently. This is why they tend to become confrontational when confronted with divergent values.

Rather than seeking to understand the unique perspectives of others, they swiftly adopt a defensive stance, attempting to assert the superiority of their worldview. Consequently, building genuine friendships becomes a challenge for them. 

Conversely, emotional maturity is characterized by an openness to diverse life perspectives. Emotionally mature individuals exhibit curiosity about differing viewpoints because they are not self-absorbed. They can step outside of their own perspectives and demonstrate empathy.

2. You don’t harbor resentment.

Observing people's character, emotionally mature individuals make decisions about who they want to include in their lives. Why? Because they prioritize their inner peace.

While they don't anticipate special treatment, emotionally mature individuals recognize that they deserve to be treated with respect and will not tolerate mistreatment. If necessary, they won't hesitate to distance themselves from a toxic relationship or an unhealthy friendship.

Quoting Nelson Mandela, "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." An emotionally mature person avoids remaining in a detrimental friendship, steering clear of resentment and thoughts of retaliation. If a relationship jeopardizes their peace, they willingly let it go.

3. You can bear not knowing.

For many individuals, finding themselves in a state of "not knowing" is an uncomfortable situation. They often form opinions on various matters, even without a clear understanding of why.

This tendency stems from the fact that emotionally immature individuals often lack independent thinking. Their knowledge is a compilation of opinions gathered from friends, the media, and society, and they seldom question the reliability of this information. 

The reason behind this is that over time, these beliefs have become the foundation for how they make sense of the world. Challenging their values or worldviews is perceived as a threat to the very core of their identity.

This is evident in the negative biases some people hold against particular religions, races, countries, or ethnicities. Such biases can be so intense that individuals may become agitated and even resort to violence when discussing these topics. 

However, if asked to provide a solid reason for their convictions, they often struggle to articulate a coherent rationale.

Emotional maturity involves the ability to pause and thoroughly examine one's beliefs, asking the essential question, "Do they make sense?" Admitting that one may be mistaken in their perspective on life doesn't equate to stupidity. 

However, persisting in living a falsehood even when confronted with the truth is not just a sign of emotional immaturity; it can be considered foolishness.

4. You understand that people don’t think about you that much.

In accordance with a study featured in the journal Psychological Bulletin, it was found that, for the majority of individuals, self-esteem reaches its peak at the age of 60. 

The study elucidates that children undergo an increase in self-esteem from ages four to eleven, followed by a swift decline during the teenage years from eleven to fifteen.

While not every child adheres strictly to this trajectory, my primary focus here is not on the variations. Instead, the key emphasis lies in the diminishing impact of social anxiety with age. I posit that this decline is attributed to the capacity of older individuals to relax and not take themselves too seriously.

At the age of 60, they have come to realize that their sense of fashion or the color coordination of their outfits is not under constant scrutiny by others. However, the ability to take a step back and approach life with a sense of levity is not exclusive to the elderly; it signifies emotional maturity.

Consider this: It requires a certain level of maturity to comprehend that others are not preoccupied with thoughts about you as much as you might believe. People have their own lives to lead, complete with insecurities that trouble them when they are alone.

5. You are at peace with the fact that you’re not special.

It's intriguing to observe how many writers on Medium express frustration when the algorithm doesn't work in their favor. 

Those same writers who consistently shared articles about their monthly earnings and praised Medium suddenly shift to a negative stance, branding Medium as dead merely because it no longer aligns with their preferences.

This reaction reflects emotional immaturity.

In reality, the algorithm doesn't recognize individual names. Every day, articles still achieve virality on the platform, and numerous writers continue to thrive. 

Emotionally mature individuals comprehend that they aren't inherently special; the world, or people, don't owe them anything. If things go well, that's fantastic. If not, they investigate the reasons and take proactive steps to rectify the situation from their end.

6. You’re always open to reconsidering your opinions of people.

Whenever I reconnect with a friend after an extended period, I consciously attempt to view them with fresh eyes, regardless of whether it's been a month, six months, or even five years. Additionally, I make a concerted effort not to hastily form opinions based solely on appearances.

While this may sound straightforward, it took time to integrate into my approach. Yet, I've come to realize that it's one of the most impactful adjustments I've made to enhance my social interactions. 

This sentiment is echoed by Robert Greene in his book Mastery, where he notes, "When an event occurs or when we meet a new person, we do not stop to consider all aspects or details, but instead we see an outline or pattern that fits into our expectations and past experiences."

Have you ever encountered someone who, upon first meeting, behaves as though they've known you forever? I'm not referring to a friendly connection but rather the individual who arrogantly assumes they've pegged your character without even looking at you. It's undeniably one of the most exasperating things.

Maturity manifests in the respect a person holds for others. When a mature individual encounters you after a considerable time gap, they can look you in the eyes and genuinely appreciate the transformations you've undergone. This ability stems from their focus on you rather than themselves.

In contrast, an emotionally immature person is more concerned with showcasing how much they've changed and positioning themselves as superior to you.

7. Your impulses don’t control you.

Echoing the sentiments of the French philosopher Blaise Pascal, who remarked, "All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone," it is evident that addictions and substance abuse are on the rise, and the root cause is well-known. Historically, the issue was people's incapacity to be alone without succumbing to boredom.

However, in contemporary times, the challenge has evolved; ordinary activities no longer captivate many individuals. The need for intensity has become paramount, driven by the incessant pursuit of elevated dopamine levels.

Exhibiting a heightened emotional maturity involves the ability to take a step back and scrutinize one's impulses. The discipline to heed the inner voice advising against immediately delving into social media upon waking up requires a level of self-mastery that eludes many.