6 Behaviors Women Mistakenly Believe Attracts Men.

Back when I was a newcomer to the dating scene during my freshman year in college, I used to attempt to catch the eye of guys by donning extravagant wigs. I'd don dresses that I wouldn't typically choose and apply copious amounts of makeup, all in the belief that it would heighten my desirability.

Then, there came a day when the guy I was dating at that time paid an unexpected visit to my apartment. He happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to drop by. 

I hadn't had the opportunity to put on my wig or apply makeup, and I was wearing a casual dress that I wouldn't typically select for a date.

As I opened the door and he saw me, his reaction was pleasantly surprising. Later, as we sat down, he commented, "You look so refreshingly natural. I love your real hair, and you look equally beautiful without makeup."

I responded, "I thought men were generally attracted to more sophisticated-looking women." To this, he delivered an enlightening insight: "Women often misinterpret what attracts men, and they're frequently mistaken."

I received a valuable lesson about these misconceptions regarding behavior, and it's crucial for you to be aware of them too.

1. Needing to have the perfect appearance.

Naturally, your appearance does play a role in attracting men, but the key often lies in enhancing your existing self rather than fabricating an entirely new persona that doesn't align with who you are.

Here's what I'm getting at:

I have a deep affection for my natural hair, a fact that's widely recognized by those who know me well. Nevertheless, instead of accentuating my unique appearance, I made the choice to wear a wig. Throughout the time I sported this wig, I found myself feeling quite miserable. 

Unfortunately, I erroneously believed that adopting this external change would be the key to attracting a man.

Wearing hair extensions isn't inherently problematic. The issue arises when you believe that you must assume a different identity through your appearance to captivate a man's interest.

Furthermore, consider this: What will you do once he becomes attracted to a false version of yourself? Will you perpetuate the facade?

Striving to appear flawless in someone's eyes often manifests as anxiety. You may find yourself worrying about saying something foolish around them or feeling self-conscious about trivial matters.

In the realm of science, a phenomenon called "The Beautiful Mess Effect" sheds light on our tendency to underestimate how our imperfections can actually deepen our connections with others.

It's not the flaws themselves that hold significance; it's how you manage and embrace them that truly matters. When you feel ashamed of your imperfections, they may appear unattractive. Yet, when you embrace and accept them, they transform into endearing elements—a "beautiful mess," if you will.

2. Playing hard to get.

Research suggests that indecision about a potential romantic partner's interest tends to be more of a turn-off than a turn-on for most men.

We often hear the saying, "men love the chase," yet many genuinely good guys who are focused on setting and achieving their life goals simply don't have the time for such pursuits. So, what can you expect?

In this scenario, you might find yourself surrounded by individuals who feign interest, only to vanish once they've achieved their desired outcome, leaving you heartbroken.

A common misconception among women is that if a man genuinely likes you, he will persistently pursue you, even when you don't express interest. However, this behavior can often have the opposite effect; it can be off-putting rather than appealing.

For some men, this may even signal insecurity and the need for a man to go to great lengths to prove his worthiness.

A high-value man will indeed express his interest in you. However, if you indicate that you're not interested, he won't invest his time in convincing you of his suitability for your affection.

3. Playing the damsel in distress.

Certainly, it's natural for men to appreciate feeling needed, and there's nothing wrong with occasionally embracing the "damsel in distress" role. 

However, if your aim is to nurture a long-term relationship rather than just fleeting moments of attraction, relying solely on the "damsel in distress" narrative may not be sustainable.

When a man consistently finds himself rescuing you from financial troubles, conflicts, and poor decisions, it won't be long before he considers heading for the exit. Such a high-maintenance dynamic is far from appealing.

This notion extends beyond significant issues to even minor tasks like calling a man for help with household chores. While seemingly harmless, it can lead to the perception that you are constantly reliant on assistance.

A man is more likely to cherish you for having your life in order. After all, it can be exhausting to confront the challenges of the world, striving to achieve your goals, only to return home and find yourself in a situation where you still need to be "fixed."

4. Self-depreciation to massage his ego.

It's truly astonishing to think that, despite the progress made in the fight for gender equality over the years, there is still a notion that one must feign ignorance to captivate a man's interest.

I once discussed this with a male friend, and his response was quite telling. He stated, "Men who prefer less intelligent women are likely driven by their own insecurities and are uncomfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with an intellectually competent woman."

We've all encountered situations where women, upon meeting a man, suddenly downplay their intelligence and hang on his every word as if they were infatuated schoolgirls.

While pretending to be less knowledgeable may indeed attract a man, it's essential to consider whether he is the right match for you. Additionally, it begs the question of whether you can maintain such a facade throughout the entirety of a relationship.

Men who are self-assured and secure in their own identities are not threatened by intelligent women. In fact, they often find intelligence an attractive quality. Conversely, a woman who lacks the intellectual capacity to engage meaningfully can be equally off-putting to such men.

5. Acting like you have a lot of men interested in you.

Much like the strategy of feigning disinterest in a man, some women believe that by giving the impression that they have multiple admirers, they can make themselves more appealing to men.

Certainly, a bit of healthy competition can enhance attractiveness, but if taken to an extreme, it can backfire. 

If you inform a man that you have a queue of potential suitors waiting for a chance to date you, it can have one of two effects on his ego: he might either decide to depart in response, or he could stick around just long enough to seek the validation he craves.

For some men, their egos are rather fragile, and acting as though you have numerous other men vying for your attention can be a misstep that rapidly diminishes their interest.

6. Pretending to like the things he likes.

While there's nothing wrong with displaying interest in a man's hobbies and preferences, pretending to be passionate about something you don't genuinely enjoy is inauthentic. 

This not only fails to attract men, but it also demonstrates a lack of authenticity. Furthermore, it may exude a sense of desperation.

Sometimes, you might be tempted to adopt certain characteristics or behaviors to align with what you believe he admires in others. 

However, imitating someone else's traits will only result in presenting a counterfeit version of yourself. This is a misguided notion that you may think appeals to men but, in reality, it does not.

So, when women have these misconceptions about the behaviors that draw men's interest, what should they do?

The answer lies in authenticity. Our primary calling in life is to be ourselves. We can genuinely be ourselves when we exude confidence.