5 Common Dating Mistakes That Often Ruins Relationships.

Establishing and maintaining long-term relationships can pose significant challenges. Even relationships that commence with great promise frequently encounter abrupt complications, leading to issues like monotony, infidelity, separation, or divorce. But what are the underlying reasons for these problems?

Well, there are several contributing factors, but in most instances, it can be attributed to the following five mistakes we are about to explore. Couples who unwittingly commit these errors often jeopardize the longevity of their relationships. 

It often begins with the fading of initial love and passion, ultimately culminating in the inescapable conclusion of the relationship. So, whether you are seeking a committed partner or are currently in a serious relationship, this video promises to offer valuable insights.

Unnecessary suspicions.

Insecurity within relationships is a seldom-discussed yet significant detriment to romantic connections. Many individuals grapple with the sense that they are unworthy of their current partner, perceiving their significant other as being superior and potentially capable of leaving for someone else at any moment. 

This apprehension of inadequacy inadvertently manifests in real-life behaviors, such as anxiety and jealousy.

If you find yourself as the one plagued by insecurity in your relationship, you may experience baseless concerns about your partner's fidelity or waning interest. 

Consequently, interactions with individuals of the opposite sex can trigger feelings of insecurity, and you may habitually harbor suspicions regarding your partner's whereabouts and activities.

This insecurity might lead you to invade your partner's privacy by checking their phone, comparing yourself to their past or present acquaintances, and fearing that they no longer find you appealing.

The resulting anxiety and jealousy have a detrimental effect, fostering paranoia and dependence. Consequently, you may constantly seek reassurance of your partner's commitment.

So, what can be done about this?

Reaffirm to yourself that your partner chose you for a reason. Your relationship wasn't forged through manipulation or coercion; they were drawn to something unique about you. Remember that you are the person they opted to be with, so questioning it without a valid reason becomes counterproductive.

Arguing to win.

Disagreements constitute an unavoidable aspect of any relationship, regardless of how well-matched you and your partner may be. However, a common instinct during these disputes is the desire to emerge as the victor. As many of us have likely experienced, this approach rarely benefits the relationship. Why is that the case?

Winning in an argument positions your partner as the opponent, effectively pitting you against each other. Especially in the heat of a heated argument, this mindset tends to breed bitterness, resentment, and hostility. 

Prolonged discord and the pursuit of victory can accumulate to a point where one partner may decide they can no longer endure it.

So, what can be done to address this issue?

Shift your perspective on arguments. Instead of fixating on proving your correctness, redirect your focus toward identifying solutions to the current problem. Seek to comprehend and determine how both of you can have your respective needs met.

More time doesn’t equal quality time.

Renowned relationship therapist Esther Perel has emphasized the concept that "Desire needs space." While this notion may initially appear counterintuitive, the essence of Perel's message can be articulated as follows: If you find yourself in constant togetherness with your partner, engaging in various activities, conversations, and companionship without significant periods of separation, you might inadvertently harm your relationship.

Desire, viewed as a yearning to be with another person, thrives when there is room for it to flourish. Overexposure to your partner can potentially lead to a sense of monotony. To nurture desire, it is crucial to grant your partner the space required for them to miss you, contemplate your presence, and genuinely desire your companionship. 

As Esther Perel insightfully conveyed, space is what kindles the yearning for what one already possesses.

So, what steps can be taken to address this issue?

Many couples err by suffocating their partners under the misconception that more time spent together equates to a stronger relationship. In actuality, what fosters a more robust relationship is not an abundance of time together but the quality of the time shared. 

It is advantageous to maintain other aspects of your life that demand your focus apart from your partner, such as work, hobbies, socializing with friends, personal projects, and so on. This not only contributes to your personal growth and sense of purpose but also creates the necessary space for desire to flourish within your relationship.

Thinking the grass must be greener on the other side.

Typically, as the initial thrill of a relationship wanes, often referred to as the "honeymoon phase," many individuals begin to draw comparisons between their partners and others in their social sphere. They start assessing their partners based on the qualities they observe in the people around them.

Imperfections and idiosyncrasies that were of little concern in the early stages of the relationship can now escalate into significant issues. This shift in perspective can swiftly undermine a relationship. But why does this occur?

The moment you shift your focus from appreciating your partner's positive aspects to dwelling on their flaws, you initiate a gradual erosion of your love and passion for them. 

You create a new idealized image of what the perfect partner should embody and expect your partner to conform to these newfound standards. Since these internal benchmarks are often unrealistic, your partner is likely to fall short, leading to a further decline in your interest.

Before long, you may contemplate ending the relationship and seeking someone whom you believe possesses the flawless traits you've constructed in your mind.

So, what can be done to address this issue?

It's essential to acknowledge that the act of comparing one's partner to others is a natural inclination; it isn't a personal fault. Humans tend to perceive the grass as being greener on the other side.

If you've made this comparison mistake in the past or find yourself doing so presently, know that you're not alone. Now that you're aware of it, it's crucial to recognize one thing: Once you commence comparing your partner to others, it becomes remarkably easy to uncover their flaws. Therefore, ask yourself:

"Do I genuinely know the person I'm comparing my partner to, or am I merely assuming that the grass would be greener on the other side?"

Cease measuring your partner's imperfections against the seemingly flawless exteriors of others and provide your relationship with a genuine opportunity. Remember, nobody is flawless. 

What holds greater significance is that you share a sense of comfort, similar values, and mutual appreciation for each other in your relationship.

Ignoring the power of physical contact.

As the initial novelty of a relationship diminishes, physical intimacy tends to decline as well. 

There is a noticeable reduction in various forms of physical contact such as touching, kissing, sexual intimacy, hand-holding, hugging, and cuddling, in comparison to the earlier stages of the relationship. Predictably, as this occurs, the flame of sexual and romantic attraction within the relationship begins to wane.

That primal, intense attraction you both experienced in the beginning gradually recedes, causing the relationship to transform into more of a platonic friendship. 

In fact, as noted by relationship coach Marni Kinrys, when individuals express sentiments like "I no longer feel attracted to my partner," more often than not, it is attributed to a deficiency in physical intimacy.

So, what can be done to address this issue?

While it is tempting to concentrate on factors like love, emotional closeness, or appreciation for your partner, sustaining a long-lasting romantic relationship necessitates deliberate efforts to maintain physical intimacy. 

Take the initiative to touch your partner more frequently, engage in activities like holding hands, passionate kissing, cuddling in bed after watching a movie, engaging in sexual intimacy, and even dancing together.

Conclusion.

Certainly, these errors may be prevalent, yet they persist as the leading causes of relationship dissolution. Many of us have, at some point, been culpable of committing one or more of these errors, and that's perfectly normal. What holds significance is how you choose to apply this newfound awareness.

Constructing a strong, enduring relationship demands diligent effort and stands as one of the most consequential endeavors in our lifetimes. Consequently, investing in these practical measures is undoubtedly worthwhile. To summarize, here are the five mistakes you should steer clear of in your relationship:

Insecurity.

Engaging in arguments solely for the sake of winning.

Neglecting to provide your partner with the necessary space.

Engaging in unfavorable comparisons.

Falling short in maintaining physical intimacy.