4 Hard Truths About Chasing Women Most Men Don’t Know.

A man demonstrating interest and investing effort in getting to know a woman is absolutely acceptable. However, when persistence transforms into chasing a woman who intentionally ignores messages and treats you as inferior, this can be detrimental.

Certainly, it's important for a man to express his desire, but crossing the line into desperation is unwise.

The crucial point often overlooked by many men in the pursuit of women is this: Even if you eventually succeed after a prolonged, draining chase, you're likely to establish an unhealthy relationship dynamic. 

In other words, you may find yourself in a perpetual position of seeking attention and settling for occasional emotional breadcrumbs. With that in mind, here are four harsh truths about pursuing women that often elude most men.

1. You’ll finish the same way you started.

Perhaps you've witnessed those rare instances where a man diligently pursued a woman for an extended period and eventually won her over. However, the sobering reality in most such cases is that her attraction might not have been won solely through the extended pursuit. 

Instead, it's possible that she yielded when she realized there were no better alternatives available. Unfortunately, this often results in an imbalanced and unsatisfying relationship for the man, where he becomes the sole driving force behind it.

Here's the crux of the matter: You deserve to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with you. If they don't, you should have the strength to walk away. This is the distinction between someone who is considered a "simp" and a genuinely good person. "Simps" lack self-respect and personal boundaries, allowing others to take advantage of them without consequences.

Conversely, a genuinely good person knows their worth and understands how they should be treated. When they recognize that a relationship isn't working, they possess the emotional intelligence and self-assuredness to let go. 

If you find yourself unable to walk away from someone who isn't reciprocating your efforts or bringing value to your life, it's a sign of lacking self-respect.

Certainly, effort is necessary when pursuing something you desire, but concerning people and relationships, the effort shouldn't be one-sided. Both individuals involved should invest in making the relationship work.

2. You’re not seeing reality.

At times, it can be frustrating when girls appear to be playing hard to get. However, in most cases, when a girl explicitly states that she doesn't like you or provides no signs indicating otherwise, it's highly likely that she genuinely isn't interested.

Once you've conveyed your feelings to a girl, the decision is now in her hands, and it's her prerogative to determine her feelings and intentions. Your standpoint is crystal clear, and if she communicates or hints that she's not interested, it's essential to have the capacity to let go.

Here's a fundamental truth: The primary reason many guys become infatuated with a girl even before knowing her well is because they've projected various qualities onto her. They notice her physical attractiveness and begin to imagine that she must also possess intelligence, humor, and an enjoyable personality.

The reality, however, is that when you genuinely perceive people for who they are, you won't become emotionally attached so hastily. 

You'll comprehend that nobody is flawless, and just like with any other person you've encountered, you'll eventually need to accept her imperfections. Adopting this mindset will grant you a sense of detachment and a more grounded connection with reality.

3. You have “oneitis”.

If you find yourself in a relentless pursuit of a girl who clearly lacks interest in you, you might be experiencing what's often referred to as "Oneitis." This term implies an intense fixation on one particular girl to the exclusion of all others, to the point where no other girl seems to matter.

This obsession can lead to the wastage of valuable time and a missed opportunity to explore numerous other potential relationships that could be deeply meaningful and fulfilling.

It's crucial to understand that becoming excessively fixated on one individual can cloud your judgment, causing you to overlook the possibility that she may not share your feelings. 

Occasionally, movies and TV shows propagate the romantic notion of a single destined soulmate, which can lead to infatuations even with individuals you've only encountered online and never met in person.

While loyalty and commitment hold significant value, putting all your hopes into a single relationship basket can foster neediness and obsession. This kind of fixation can be detrimental to your self-esteem and even your mental well-being.

4. You’re not chasing what matters.

Consider all the time and effort you're investing in a girl who isn't reciprocating your feelings. Now, envision redirecting that time and energy toward endeavors that will genuinely benefit you.

Indeed, some girls may relish the idea of being pursued, but these types of individuals often grapple with their own insecurities. They derive satisfaction from the perception of your desperation to win them over. 

However, these are not the kind of girls with whom you should aim to establish a meaningful relationship. Their intentional evasiveness is a source of personal gratification.

Now, picture the vast realm of possibilities and opportunities that would unfold if you were to allocate that time towards personal growth, the pursuit of your goals, and your evolution into a superior version of yourself.

As you shift your focus towards pursuing matters of significance, you become a happier and more fulfilled individual. Consequently, you'll naturally attract the right people into your life.

Attempting to win a girl over through excessive efforts rarely proves effective. Overzealous actions don't magically transform her feelings from dislike to love; that's a notion often found in romantic movies. In reality, going overboard tends to drive her further away.

It's true that some women may create a chase because they've erected emotional barriers due to past experiences. However, a woman with such defensive mechanisms will likely remain on guard. Consequently, even the slightest action resembling her past encounters can reset the relationship to square one.

A healthy and sustainable relationship flourishes when both the man and the woman invest mutual effort into building something remarkable. If you find yourself in the position of having to initiate all the pursuit and put in the initial effort, this dynamic might persist throughout the relationship.