19 Secrets Women Wish You Knew.

Curious about what women desire in a relationship? If you've ever wondered about this, we've compiled 19 relationship insights. These insights stem from the examination of contented, thriving couples and the evolving dynamics of gender roles.

1. A Caring Guy Is a Hot Guy.

Women value a man who shows empathy, particularly when they're feeling down. Offer them comfort by gently placing your arm around them and handing them a tissue. Providing care is a significant way to establish a deep connection.

2. Chivalry Still Has a Place.

In matters of romance, numerous women appreciate it when men adopt a more traditional masculine role. This preference becomes particularly pronounced during the courting phase of a relationship, as noted by psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, a prolific author on matters of love. 

While women are entirely capable of taking care of themselves, if you notice them pausing, it could be their way of inviting you to embrace your role as a gentleman, such as pulling out a chair or opening a door for them.

3. Dress to Impress.

Fashion trends may evolve, but a man's commitment to grooming and attire should remain constant. This aspect holds significance for women from the initial interaction to the honeymoon phase and beyond. 

According to Kirschner, it's essential to determine if there's a particular style that appeals to your partner. If, for instance, she appreciates a man in snug-fitting jeans, it's a good idea to don such jeans to cater to her preferences.

4. Guy Wears Red, Guy Gets Girl.

Well, this piece of advice isn't sourced directly from women; instead, it arises from astute research by psychologists delving into women's underlying inclinations. An intriguing study uncovered that the color red had the effect of enhancing men's perception as more potent, appealing, and sexually enticing to women. 

However, there's a caveat to consider. Wearing red may not necessarily make you come across as more amiable or compassionate – that part remains within your control.

5. Don't Hide Your Flaws.

According to relationship expert Kirschner, there's nothing quite as captivating to a woman as a decent man striving to become an even better version of himself. 

"Women appreciate personal development; they admire a man who is considerate and attuned to their emotions." Women find it appealing when their partners acknowledge a flaw, such as a short temper or a tendency to be moody after work, and they truly cherish it when these men proactively work towards improving themselves in these areas.

6. Don't Try to Fix Their World.

When women are troubled by something, they seek your understanding, not necessarily your solutions. As Kirschner explains, "Men tend to be solution-driven because of their problem-solving nature. However, for a woman, genuine listening is a precious gift that enhances the relationship significantly."

7. Nodding Is Not Enough.

While listening is crucial, it's equally important for women to feel acknowledged. Simply nodding in agreement won't suffice. Kirschner suggests that when she pauses, it's an opportunity for you to respond with empathy and care. 

For instance, if she shares that her boss gave her a hard time at work, she'll appreciate hearing you say, "I'm sorry to hear that your day at work was so challenging." And a crucial reminder: resist the temptation to provide solutions in such moments.

8. Date No. 3 Is Not a Bedroom Key.

The notion of a "three-date rule" for intimacy is nothing more than an urban myth. Women do not adhere to a strict timeline for when they'll consider inviting a potential partner into their bedroom. The decision varies among individuals, with some women preferring to wait for several dates before becoming intimate. 

A general guideline to follow is to allow the relationship to develop naturally, giving it at least two months before considering entering the realm of physical intimacy.

9. Women Like the Slow Lane.

Men often seek the fastest route to physical intimacy, while many women opt for a more gradual, meaningful approach. As psychologist Kirschner, who has aided numerous couples in building more fulfilling relationships, puts it: "Women have a desire for physical intimacy, but they approach it differently. 

They prioritize feeling connected and appreciated, craving romance." This entails investing time in conversations and physical affection – in essence, engaging in foreplay.

10. Safe Sex Is a Turn-On.

Both partners should emphasize this aspect, but according to Kirschner, women value and feel more secure when the man explicitly expresses his commitment to this concern and, more importantly, demonstrates through his actions that he follows through on his words.

11. Learn What They Want in Bed.

Women appreciate discussing matters related to their intimate life and strive to satisfy their partner's desires, and a sensitive approach is often the most effective. 

Inquire about their preferences and express your desires in a constructive and affirming manner. Kirschner recommends using language like, "I would truly appreciate it if you [insert your desires]."

12. Performance Anxiety Is Shared.

When there's an evening where performance isn't at its best, women can also experience feelings of disappointment. They might be concerned that they no longer arouse your desire and seek reassurance that this isn't the case. 

They may want to engage in a conversation about the situation and your efforts to address it, particularly if it's a recurring issue. As Kirschner suggests, discussing this matter can be sensitive for both parties, but open communication is a positive step in addressing it.

13. Mirroring Is a Barometer of Love.

Have you ever heard the expression, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"? Well, women often express their feelings for you by reflecting your emotions and actions. 

They might choose a meal that complements yours, wear your preferred color, or mirror your expressions like smiling or crossing their arms when you do. This mirroring behavior is their way of making you feel comfortable and conveying their genuine affection.

14. Your Shirt May Be a Love Magnet.

Have you noticed your partner snuggling into your sweater or borrowing your work shirt? Researchers have discovered that the scent of a man's perspiration can have a calming influence on women.

15. Say It, Again and Again.

Women appreciate hearing compliments about their appearance, and they value a man who notices without being prompted. For instance, when they're dressed in a sexy new outfit, they'll greatly appreciate you acknowledging how stunning they look, especially if you do so before they mention it themselves. 

Whether they've had a new haircut, they're looking especially attractive, or they've improved their fitness, letting them know will be well-received.

16. Don't Fear the Relationship Talk.

When your partner expresses a desire to discuss the relationship, it doesn't necessarily indicate that you've done something wrong (well, not always). 

According to Kirschner, many women enjoy conversations about the "state of the union" – what's going well, what could be improved, or simply what's happening in the relationship. This is a positive sign. An open and candid conversation can strengthen your bond and bring the two of you closer together.

17. Look Your Partner in the Eye.

While you might find sitting side by side more comfortable, it's worth noting that many women value face-to-face interaction – and we're not referring to the latest mobile video chat technology. 

According to Kirschner, women appreciate it when their partners maintain eye contact while conversing. Furthermore, maintaining eye contact during intimate moments can enhance the connection between you, not only within the confines of the bedroom but also outside of it.

18. Don't Miss the Moment.

How can you tell if they're ready for a committed relationship? They'll let you know. This is often something women are direct about. However, they don't want to have the "defining the relationship" conversation too frequently. 

If they've indicated their readiness and have allowed time for it to progress, when the topic arises again, be prepared to either commit or reconsider your position.

19. Romance Is Simple; Keep It Coming.

Romance is something they'll always desire, whether you've been together for a couple of months or two decades. While it may seem cliché, gestures like flowers, a cozy dinner, or even a heartfelt love poem (no need to compose your own) hold significant value. 

Kirschner emphasizes that most women genuinely treasure these uncomplicated romantic acts and often express their appreciation when the lights dim.