6 Behaviors Women Mistakenly Believe Attracts Men.

During my early days in the dating world as a college freshman, I often attempted to capture the attention of guys by donning extravagant wigs. I would don dresses that were far from my usual style and layer on heavy makeup, all in the belief that it would render me more appealing.

Then, one day, the guy I was dating at the time paid an unexpected visit to my apartment. He happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to drop by. With no time to put on my wig or apply makeup, I greeted him in a casual dress, an outfit I typically wouldn't choose for a date.

As I opened the door, he greeted me with genuine delight. Later, as we sat down, he commented, "You look so refreshing, I love your natural hair, and you look equally beautiful without makeup."

In response, I mentioned, "Well, I thought men preferred sophisticated-looking women." His reply was a revelation: "Women often hold mistaken beliefs about what attracts men, and how wrong they tend to be."

I received a valuable education on these misconceptions, and it's essential for you to be aware of them as well.

1. Needing to have the perfect appearance.

Undoubtedly, one's appearance plays a role in attracting men, but the key is to enhance your natural appearance rather than inventing a persona that doesn't align with who you truly are. Allow me to illustrate this with a personal example:

I have always had a deep affection for my natural hair, a fact well-known to those around me. Despite this, I opted to wear a wig, believing it was necessary to attract a man. 

Throughout the time I wore that wig, I felt utterly discontent, all the while under the misguided notion that it would be a magnet for the opposite sex.

Wearing hair extensions, in and of itself, is not problematic. However, the issue arises when you feel compelled to assume a different identity through your appearance to appeal to a man.

Furthermore, consider the predicament of maintaining an alluring facade once a man becomes attracted to a version of you that isn't genuine. Are you prepared to sustain this facade?

When you exert tremendous effort to appear flawless to someone, it becomes evident in your demeanor. You become anxious about saying something amiss around them, and even the most trivial matters cause you embarrassment.

In the realm of science, there exists a phenomenon known as "The Beautiful Mess Effect." This concept elucidates how our imperfections often foster deeper connections with others than we might realize. 

It's not the flaws themselves that hold significance; rather, it's how you handle them. If you harbor shame over your imperfections, they can appear unattractive. However, when you embrace them, they transform into endearing idiosyncrasies—a kind of "beautiful mess."

2. Playing hard to get.

Research indicates that remaining undecided for an extended period regarding a potential romantic partner's interest tends to be more off-putting than appealing to most men.

You often hear the phrase "men love the chase," but many decent men who are diligently pursuing their life goals might not have the time or inclination for such pursuits. What does this imply?

The result is that you might attract individuals who are only interested in playing along until they satisfy their immediate desires, leaving you heartbroken.

Some women mistakenly believe that if a man genuinely likes them, he will persist in the pursuit, even in the absence of visible interest from their side. However, this behavior can have the opposite effect and act as a deterrent rather than an attraction.

Certain men may interpret this persistence as a sign of insecurity, perceiving that you require them to go to great lengths to prove their devotion.

A high-value man will certainly express interest in you, but if he senses your lack of interest, he won't invest his time in attempting to persuade you of his worthiness of your love.

3. Playing the damsel in distress.

Certainly, men appreciate feeling needed, and there are times when it's acceptable to play the role of the damsel in distress. However, if your goal is to maintain a long-term relationship rather than a fleeting attraction, continually relying on the damsel in distress narrative may not be sustainable.

If a man finds himself repeatedly rescuing you from financial issues, conflicts, and poor decisions, he might eventually feel overwhelmed and seek an escape route. High maintenance behavior is generally not appealing.

It can also extend to minor tasks, like regularly calling a man for assistance with household matters. What might seem harmless initially can lead him to perceive you as a person constantly in need of help.

A man is more likely to admire you for having your life well-managed. It can be exhausting to face the challenges of the world, strive to achieve your goals, and then return home only to feel compelled to continuously "fix" your partner.

4. Self-depreciation to massage his ego.

Despite all the progress made in the fight for gender equality over the years, it's astonishing to think that pretending to be less intelligent is seen as a way to appeal to a man.

When I brought up this issue with a male friend, he offered an interesting perspective. He stated, "Men who prefer less intelligent women are likely insecure and unwilling to contend with intelligent women."

We've all witnessed women who, upon meeting men, suddenly downplay their intelligence and hang on to his every word, emulating a smitten schoolgirl.

While feigning ignorance may indeed attract a man, it raises the question of whether he's the right match for you. Moreover, are you prepared to sustain this act throughout the entirety of the relationship?

Confident and self-assured men are typically not intimidated by intelligent women. In fact, they tend to be disenchanted by women who lack the intellectual capacity to engage in meaningful conversation.

5. Acting like you have a lot of men interested in you.

In a manner parallel to appearing disinterested in a man, certain women believe that by portraying themselves as having numerous suitors vying for their attention, they will draw in more potential partners.

Certainly, a bit of competition can spark heightened interest, but if taken to extremes, it can lead to undesirable consequences.

If you inform a man that there is a queue of other suitors eagerly waiting to date you, his ego may drive him to either depart or linger only long enough to secure the validation he seeks.

It's essential to recognize that some men have delicate egos, and adopting an attitude of having numerous admirers can swiftly deter them.

6. Pretending to like the things he likes.

In a manner parallel to appearing disinterested in a man, certain women believe that by portraying themselves as having numerous suitors vying for their attention, they will draw in more potential partners.

Certainly, a bit of competition can spark heightened interest, but if taken to extremes, it can lead to undesirable consequences.

If you inform a man that there is a queue of other suitors eagerly waiting to date you, his ego may drive him to either depart or linger only long enough to secure the validation he seeks.

It's essential to recognize that some men have delicate egos, and adopting an attitude of having numerous admirers can swiftly deter them.